Here is a little story about heroism, and how I plan on applying it to my fiction…
Several years ago my father was the victim of a mugging attempt by a handful of gang members while standing on a subway platform beneath the streets of Boston. One man approached him directly while three or four others tried to surround him. Not only was his wallet in danger, but also his health, and perhaps even his life.
The subway was crowded that evening, yet no one batted an eye at the aggressive actions of the muggers. A blind eye was turned by all. It eats me up to think about it. Why didn’t anyone try to help?
With that preface, I wanted to challenge you to some honest soul-searching while I continue this story. What would you do if you were thrown into a very dangerous emergency situation, such as violent mugging? How about a natural disaster, or a full-blown terrorist attack? If you allow yourself to answer truthfully you might be surprised, or perhaps disappointed.
I had a discussion with my father on this topic after he related this story to me because I found his actions during that crisis, and the inaction of the witnesses, to expose some compelling insights into the psyche of both heroes and victims. My father has always been a man of action regardless of the kind of trouble he comes across, he is always primed to act immediately, helpfully, in a crisis. That day, he himself was in a crisis, a victim of a crime but not a VICTIM ruled by his own fears. There is a clear difference between the two interpretations of that word victim. My father chose to act to defend himself instead of to cower in paralyzed terror. He chose to act heroically. And he was able to do this because he had built this response, this decision to act no matter what, into his very nature over the course of his life.
It was a potent conversation, and helpful to me. Especially now, since I need to have a similar dialog with the heroes of my novel very shortly. But let me continue…
That evening in the subway, my father recognized the danger he was in very quickly. You see, he is an employee of the MBTA, and thus constantly working on the commuter railways in and around Boston to keep them running in tip-top shape. He needs to spend a great deal of that time in dangerous high-crime locations. He is licensed to carry a gun, and was packing a 9-mil with 15 rounds that day, unconcealed.
Yes, unconcealed. Yet he was targeted anyways. He quickly got his back to a wall, pulled his gun on the initiator, and kept the others members within his peripheral. Were there weapons? Not that he could pinpoint, just hands near pockets and waistbands, arms cocked threateningly. Strong threats.
“Back. Off.”
By law, in the United States you can’t shoot somebody unless you are in fear of your life, or the life of another. With the way these men stalked my father, I can assure you that he had a very definite fear of losing his life. The lead mugger, with a gun pointed right at his chest, actually chose to take another step forward.
The bystanders? They made space, and continued to ignore the mugging happening right in front of them. They even ignored the GUN. Seriously, the gun? There was no Hollywood mass panic. No hysterics, no screaming. No reaction at all except a subtle distancing between them and the possibility of violence. The crowd were VICTIMS, each entangled by their own fears of getting hurt or getting mugged.
Each praying “Thank god its not me. Please not me.”.
Now, you shouldn’t even brandish a weapon, any weapon, unless you have an absolute intention of using it. I think my father was more ready than either you or I might have been to pull that trigger. Ready to kill to defend his life. Yet I also think he hesitated dangerously too long. It could have been a fatal mistake. That one extra step of intimidation was, truthfully, one step too close. Someone skilled in combat might have been able to close the short distance between himself and a gun, and done so very quickly. Maybe with his own weapon ready to strike. A gun is useless up close while you’re being grappled.
When that first mugger took that extra step after being warned, my father should have shot him.
“Back off. You’re dead even if your buddies get to me afterward.”
Speaking again, instead of shooting, had put his life at grave risk. Yet still, he had drawn a line and had prepared himself to fire his weapon if one more move was made against him. And he was prepared that his shot might kill, because he had to STOP the mugger. Injuring somebody intent on doing you harm is just a good way to piss him off while he continues to attack you. My father needed to stop the attacker, and to guarantee that he would need a body shot, center-mass, close to the heart. One shot was all he would have, and it would have to count.
My father was lucky that night. The gang wasn’t in the mood to push their luck against a determined gunman. Probably figured they could find an easier mark elsewhere. They disappeared into the crowd with the arrival of the next train. My father decided it was safer to leave the way he had come in, back out the tunnels and onto the streets. Two policemen hurried past him as he climbed the stairs, heading to the subway platform. It seemed the best help my father had been able to muster from the scared bystanders was an anonymous 911 call.
With the danger averted, my father let the policemen pass without bringing attention to himself. He was not sure he could give an accurate enough description of any of the gang members to do the police any good. His attention had been on danger, on movement, on intent and reflexes, not on details like height, build, clothing, facial features. Those criminals were long gone and anonymous once more. He was tired. His nerves were shot. He wanted to get home.
I have pondered this story, and stewed upon the personal questions that bubbled up from it quite a bit. It occurs to me that a lot of mental preparation must go into being ready to fight to the death, to take positive action. That’s why policemen and soldiers train so rigorously. If you are not prepared mentally to take such actions when they are needed, you might freeze with paralysis instead. And people might die. Hell, you might die. So I’ve wondered, how ready am I to deal with emergencies? How much danger am I willing to risk to help myself or someone else?
I have asked myself questions like this, and have found myself… To be honest, I’ve found myself lacking.
I don’t know what I would actually do!
But I know that I would want to act. Yes, I would want to take assertive action if it could save lives. Even if it meant killing one villain to prevent him from killing others. Yet deep down, what would my gut reaction be? Would I stand paralyzed like the witnesses in the subway? Or would I be heroic and take action?
If something happened right this second I just might freeze up. Because I’m mentally un-prepared. I’m just an average guy who never expects the worst to happen. Yet I believe, with some effort and time, I could change my gut reaction to something more positive. I’m sure I could do so. I’ve made such mental changes before. I have challenged myself to stand up to bullies, to speak with experience to bosses, with confidence to fellow employees, with wisdom to members of the 8-ball pool league I used to direct. Not wanting to be a victim of my own fears and insecurities, I have made small changes in my mental-attitude in the past. So making larger changes in my frame of mind, to demand of myself to act swiftly and decisively in emergencies, can be done as well. Although it may be a tougher task. I know in my heart what the right thing to do is for just about any emergency: help those in trouble, alert authorities, move quickly to defend myself, find a way to eliminate the danger, etc.
Hopefully I can train my average-everyday brain to respond heroically for future emergencies. I’m sure going to try.
And the heroes of my novel? Very soon they will be faced with such dilemmas as well. I don’t plan on going easy on them! The bad guys are out there ready to do bad things to innocent people and I need to know:
- What might Sebastian do, just a young man fresh off the farm, if he has to choose between rescuing his father, or saving dozens of people at the cost of possibly losing his father forever?
- Might Bridgette, a security guard struggling to redeem past mistakes, act quickly enough on her hunches? Or will she hesitate with self-doubt just long enough for disaster to strike, and be burdened by guilt for her choices?
So I challenge you one final time:
- What would you have done if you were there in the subway watching my father fend off a gang of muggers?
- Would your actions change if it was your own loved one being attacked
- What if you, yourself, were being mugged?
Answer truthfully, and also consider if you could live with yourself afterwards.
